so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
