yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
