I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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