I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
