we have officially lost it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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