STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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