New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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