Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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