Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
