I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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