That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
