Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Enjoy the penises
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
