you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize