He felt like a one man threesome
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
