What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
