I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
