I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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