the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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