craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
