That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
