So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
