Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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