hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
