I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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