Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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