i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
