home. puking in laundry basket.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize