can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Let's get the cat blown out
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
