Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She needs sedatives and a leash
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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