Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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