I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
