I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
