I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
