no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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