He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
