I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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