Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize