Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
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