he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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