Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
