If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
