I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
