Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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