One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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