My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
