You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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