the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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