I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize