lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
