yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize