my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i used baking grease as lip gloss
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
