She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
