They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
