But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
