Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize