Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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