if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
