i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
