my vag is so smooth its legendary
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
