I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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