Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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