Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
