In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
