When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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