So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
