.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
