She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
