tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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