apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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