Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
