at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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