he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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