i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
