Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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