Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
