Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
