Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
