My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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