Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
