I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
