hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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