I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
