I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I will pee on everything he values.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
