don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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