I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
