dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
