we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
