Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
