My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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