Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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