Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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