Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
