Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
